“I love myself just as I am.”
How many of us can say that and truly mean it? I reckon not many. I bet most people say “I love myself at times” or “I don’t love myself at all.” We live in a world that says we should love ourselves just as we are and then uses our insecurities or our desire to be something different as a marketing tool. People aren’t given the space to find themselves and love themselves. We live in a world of judgements. Even if we try not to be judgmental people, we have opinions which are judgements based on our beliefs, prejudices and personal evaluation systems. This is a topic we had last week in my meditation class, and the book we’re reading said something interesting: “We can’t experience reality and also judge it at the same time.” *
Our thoughts often are what create our experiences. As my teacher said, “As you think, so it becomes.” Our own consciousness is our own reality because what we think is what we see. So often we can be filled with doubt or we worry about specific outcomes so we see things that aren’t there, especially in people, and we read too much into people’s actions based on what’s happening in our own minds. This is just an example I’m sure everyone can remember specifics to. We need to be able to observe without judging. Take a step back from your ego that’s thinking or suffering and just live within Awareness. Awareness isn’t judging, it’s accepting. Because everything that happens is happening within consciousness, within awareness, and it’s the ego that suffers. But if you can identify with awareness then you can live a life of love as opposed to a life of judgement.
I guess if we follow this train of thought we’re saying we have to be aware of ourselves in order to love ourselves. That’s hard. How do you know when you truly know yourself? and on top of that, you might wonder “how can I be aware of my worst qualities and not judge myself for them?” You have to accept that that’s a part of who you are. Of course, we should try to live a life following our best qualities, but don’t judge yourself for what you view to be the negative aspects of yourself. The majority of the time I think I can say I love myself just as I am. It is hard and there are days I struggle with it. But over the course of the last year I have become so incredibly aware of myself and my negative aspects and I’ve learned how to step back and say “Ok. I know I have that tendency, I’m going to take a deep breath, let it pass over me, and try to move forward and beyond it.” Of course it can be very frustrating and I sometimes fail but having accepted that these are things I’m always going to have to deal with I’m able to stop condemning myself for them. For the most part 🙂 It’s a life-time process.
We have a “Me” that is the ego, and a “Me” that is awareness. Just remember that everything happens in your consciousness and it’s the ego that judges. I hope I’m explaining this in a way that kind of makes sense. I had a three hour class to have the “I am Awareness” concept explained to me and just a brief mention in a larger topic to relay it to you. Accept yourself and accept the world. A world without judgement would be a much more compassionate place. And maybe loving yourself is the place to begin. Your closest relationship is your relationship with yourself. As my Feldenkrais teacher always used to say:
“Take the time to become aware of yourself, to take of yourself, to love yourself – It’s a love affair that won’t let you down.”
* Seven Masters, One Path by John Selby